The Walls In My Path

I was working on some editing today, and came to a conclusion...

My path to being what I think of as a successful author has some big freaking walls between me and the goal.

The first ones were kicked down a few years ago.  Getting me to actually WRITE!

After that, it took a few years and a time pulled away from writing, to finally give me the kick in the ass I needed to take the next step...

Editing.

Yep, that was a big step. I could get a first draft out, but editing... Not so much. And beyond that, I needed to publish.

So, 2014 was the year I edited and got published.

And since then, I've done plenty of writing, and even some editing.  But you know what?

NOTHING is finished. Ok, a few shorts had a swift 'edit' over them, and have been in magazines and anthologies.  But ACTUAL start to finish stories? Stories with Endings? 1... my Nano, books 1, 2 and 3.. And good lord, they need work.

So, I've set myself a goal, but after 90k in November, I didn't want to do anything in December. I HATED it. Ugh.. No.

Still, I have a goal. I want to have The Charming Line ready to start rolling out by June/July. Not to mention, keep up the stories in Far Horizons AND perhaps work on 1-2 anthologies.

Can I do that?

So far, I've BARELY been able to get through a first edit on Snow's Retelling. Barely... I reached a place, about the time the 'witch' attacks her, and its so freaking bad.. That I'm not just 'changing a few things' I'm full on rewriting.  And at #17 [I bracket and number each edit, so I know where I'm working on and where it is on the paper I write things out] I couldn't do it. Until today. Over two weeks [yes, there was my work week from hell in there, but still.] and I couldn't face it.

Tuesday fellow author M.L. John asked me to sprint with her. I was in the middle of a TV show, and said no.. But, that I would the next day.  My goal?

2-3 thirty minute sprints.

I got mostly 2 done yesterday. M. wasn't able to, due to health issues, but she encouraged me. And I got past that one story.

I realized, this is another wall I have to kick down. Wandering Wizard was newer, more who I am now. Charming Line is 5 years old, and I've grown a lot since then. So, its gonna take some big work... A few rounds of edits, for sure.

My hope is that by realizing this, it'll help me push forward. No promises, but that's my hope.

Kristy C

Books, books, books...

Not sure how long, but iBooks has several 'first books' for free right now.

I waded through and grabbed several.  My review from yesterday is one of those books.  Last night I took a friend to the store and read while she shopped.  The book isn't 'good', but I can't seem to put it down.

The start has a wizard advisor yelling at the king that the 'evil' has returned and they need to find someone important, that it won't be easy and could take time.  Next thing we know, we've got the person and have been training them a little over a week.  That skip bothers me a bit.  Normally, you want a story to move... But this sort of moves too fast.  Doesn't stop me from reading it however.

On to the next bit... I'm going to take part of the 2015 book challenge.  Goal is to read 50 books, each one falling into a category.  The image will be posted at the end.

A group on FB is taking part in the challenge, and we've got a spreadsheet to help us along.

This means, I'll be sharing more reviews along the way, as well as my progress.

Kristy C

Things I've Written...

As mentioned before, I've been spending August doing a challenge for 29 days of writing prompts to building my skills as a writer.

I have three days not yet finished, but well started.  One day, I just can't seem to get going in my head.  I've had ideas, but nothing that's stuck.  So, I wanted to share with you what I wrote for one of the days recently, as I thought it was rather interesting.

This prompt came in three pieces, with your goal being to do one, then take a break before doing the next and repeating the set one more time after that.  Below, I'll share each of the prompts and the what I wrote as a response.

Part 1: Start the exercise with your character walking into a bar and taking in the scene. Write what happens in one page. End with your character sitting at the bar and ordering a drink. Write normally, like you would write if this weren't an exercise. When you've finished, put away what you wrote and take a break before doing part 2.

It had been years since he'd had a chance to walk into a bar and just take a moment.  Lately, each visit was to bring Kyran back to the Station, or to pick up a villain for the police.  The idea that he'd be able to sit and enjoy a drink was strange.


Just inside the door, he stopped and let his eyes wander over this particular bar.  Times had changed since he had last been able to go out and drink.  As a young man, these had been saloons and pubs, where men met to talk about the world around them and share a drink together.  Most of the women had been call girls or waitresses.  In the 40's, they'd felt more 'themed', with packed dance floors, shows and lots of tables for a couple to share a stolen moment at.


The only constant between them all, was the music and the drunks.


Music always seemed to be playing from some source or another, be it live or recorded.  It helped to drown out the talking and gave those alone something they could focus on, other than being alone.

It was the same with the drunks.  Always one or two who came almost daily to drown their sorrows in a drink or two... Or ten.  The bartenders took care of them, cutting them off at the right time and getting them home safely.

Taking a good look around, he saw the drunks and heard the music and then focused on what made this place unique.

Art decorated the walls, loud and bold in its colors and strokes.  It was abstract, but that didn't stop it from speaking volumes.  The decor was strange and mismatched, tables of various sizes and surrounded by different kinds of chairs.  To him, the place managed to feel both old world, and modern at the same time.  It felt a little like home.

Stepping up to the bar, he took a seat and looked at the drinks on tap, before finding one he wanted and calling to the young man to place his order.

"I'll try the Hopped Up Sampler."

--------------

Part 2: Do the exact same thing as in Part 1, but now I want you to zoom in the narrative distance. Get up close and personal with your character. Feel the cigarette smoke seeping into his skin and the his shoes catching on the floor that's sticky from spilled beer. Write that page in this zoom-lens POV. Again, end with your character ordering a drink, then put away what you wrote and take a break.

He pushed open the large door, wondering how the daintier customers got in when even he had to give it a solid heave too.  Still, it helped to keep the weather out and the warmth of the bar in.


A friend had suggested this one to him, a place he might feel more at home in, while still keeping in the modern world.  His friend was fight.


Stepping to the side, in case someone else tried to get in, he took a moment t admire one of the several pieces of art around the place. Bold and loud colors called to him, their abstract brush strokes speaking volumes more than some might have thought. It fit with the way the room was littered with tables of all shapes and sizes, surrounded by chairs that didn't match.


It made the place feel somehow old fashioned, and modern.  Like himself.


"Jus' one more drink?"  A voice called out behind him, causing the man to turn catch a glimpse of one staple in all bars, regardless of time.


A drunk.


"No can do Kelly. You know the rules.  Six makes you angry and you can't afford to fix this place up, again."


"But, it was such a bad day..."  He started, before nodding and trying to stand up.


"Let me call you a cab.  We'll make sure the cars safe until tomorrow, then you can have your husband come and pick it up with your daughter."  A hand was held out and the drunk, Kelly, dutifully put his keys in it and waited for the cab to pick him up.


With the distraction gone, he noticed the other thing all bars had in common.  Music.


Here, it was a unique sound that actually mixed old recordings of music with modern dance.  It, fit the world created here.

Stepping up to the bar, now that Kelly was taken care of, he closed his eyes and felt the way everything moved around him, before ordering.

"I'd like a bourbon."


--------------

Part 3: Repeat parts 1&2, only this time zoom out to a full panoramic distance. You're still in the limited POV, but now you're far, far away, getting a panoramic view of the scene. We should almost forget that we're in the POV character's head until he or she sits at the bar and orders a drink to end the scene.

It wasn't your typical bar, but then most bars weren't all that typical in the end.  Each had a clientele they wanted to serve, and did their best to attract those people.


A heavy oak door was the only entrance, keeping some out just from the imposing nature of it.  It helped to keep men gentlemen as some struggled to open it on their own.  But that was by design as well, the first step in assuring they kept 'riff raff out' and proper in.


Loud and bold art work littered the plain walls, drawing the attention of those who entered first.  One step away from being too much, it helped to set the stage for the place you were about to enter.  Its abstract strokes mixing well with the mishmash of tables and chairs, all of which had long lost their original pairings.


At one of the bar, a drunk begged the tender for another drink, proclaiming that it had been a bad day and he just needed 'one more.'


The quality of the bar was shown in not only the refusal of the drink, but the reason being that they knew the consequence and didn't want him to face that again.  It was further proven when the bartender requested the keys, calling a cab so his patron wouldn't get hurt on the way home.


Music, pumped in from an unknown place, added to the original effect of melding ideas with its strange vintage and modern twist in each song.


Everything in the place had been carefully crafted to call to the right person, one who was suited for this kind of world.  Longing for the days of yesteryear, while understanding that the present was needed.


It all suited him just fine, as he stepped up and ordered.


"Scotch on the rocks. Oban Highland, Single Malt.  Nothing under 15 years."


--------------

I thought it was interesting how each of the endings had a different drink, growing in its speciality as the description of the bar and what was seen grew in definition.  Really enjoyed this challenge.  ^^

Kristy C

August is for Writing and Balance

I've struggled over the last year to get back into writing, as my jewelry business has become central in my life.  And its not that I dislike that, but writing is at the center of my heart.  Jewelry Design is special but not AS special.

At the end of July, I had listed over 200 items in my Etsy store, had close to 100 more made and not yet listed [due to fees] and was trying to save/raise money for a big trip at the end of September.  No shows or real plans for August at that point. I was out of a lot of supplies, so making things wasn't going to happen without funds and in general, the business would end up going on a sort of 'nap'.

I'd also received an email from the lovely Gabriela over at DIY MFA (Do It Yourself Master of Fine Arts) about an upcoming project/challenge they were doing called 'Conquer the Craft'.  For the first 29 days of August, you would receive a daily prompt meant to help challenge yourself in writing.  Most should only take about 29 minutes to do, but longer was ok.

The main goal was to push yourself AND get into the norm of writing.  I saw this as a godsend, since I wanted badly to write and just needed a push.

And there it was.

So I happily put aside the jewelry.  I had a few events at the start of September I could plan for, and figured I'd just deal with them when they happened.

But as we've passed the halfway point, I see that I was only half right.

I need to find balance in my muse.  Balance will help me to move on into the next few months, with 4 shows of various lengths, and keep my writing a thing.  A normal thing.

August is about balance.

Despite having no actual funds to buy supplies, I need to strive to build even pieces of jewelry or plot out designs, so when I can make that order I'm not floundering.  I need to work on my stories, even just background and time lines.

Instead of 30 min on my writing, I need 30 min on writing, 30 on the business, 30 on promotion and 30 here... TWO HOURS A DAY!!!

That's all my heart says I need to stress over.  Spend the other times cleaning, running errands, researching, do what needs to be done.

Grow past this broken place you've been in for too long.

August is about balance.

I'm not naive enough to know there won't be times when one overshadows the other.  Try as we might, total balance isn't in our control.  But I also know that I am tired of giving up halfway, tired of feeling trapped with one or the other and tired of barely getting by.

Tired of being only a WOULD BE Somebody.

Kristy C

The First....

I know... Over the last week or so, I've managed to sink into a micro depression.  I think, its starting to hit me as to why....


Last years holiday season, wasn't wonderful and spectacular, but... There were four of us.  The family was whole.


This year, there are three of us.  Yes, mom died in April... But, nothing stops the pain of knowing she's not here.  Mixed in with... Everything else, right now I just don't have the energy to put time or effort into something.  And, I know I have to.  I need to work on school and I need to write and... I need to make jewelry.  But, I just feel broke and useless... My jewelry isn't selling, in person or online.  I'm only half enjoying my classes... And I love my book, but right now... I can't focus on it.  I both, need to get out and at the same time, don't have a desire to go any place.


Perhaps... I should still, get out.  Shower, get dressed and made up... Go get myself some hot chocolate/coffee... And at the very least, be not home for twenty minutes.




As an aside, I'd love some feedback on what I'm about to post.  I'm just depressed enough, that I see I have over 100 followers, but receive no comments on anything.. Except contests...Which, I might just stop doing for a little while.



The true story of a Mr. Diggory and a Miss. Perdita Tapio


Diggory and Perdita were twins, who, at a the young age of 23, graduated with doctorates in NeoTechnology.  Thought to be prodigy's in the technologies, they set up a sort of laboratory for study into a few programs that might advance the use of a few of the more space-oriented programs.


Let us explain the technologies of the time.  The two most prominent branches where NeoTechnology and NanoTechnology.  Both were said to be on the cusp of a break through.  Nanotechnology used small machines to create larger ones, that worked as one piece as a whole.  Despite assumptions, this made it easier to figure out when something was broken, by just looking up which Nanite was no longer running properly.  You then shut down for a short amount of time and allowed the Nanites to disassemble, before releasing the new on in to join the machine.  While on the rise, this technology ran into the same snag that Air Ship designs ran into, with the lack of proper processors to run advanced machines.


NeoTechnology has a different approach to everything.  It looks toward making things bigger, but all in one.  The ideas come closer to that of a living machine.  By building a machine as one giant living thing, then creating the program to run it all, machines can work as one whole, instead of millions of minds.  Finding something broken is simple, as the machines program simply searches for the problem and alters those running to, to the problem.  It however ran into the problem of finding a power source to run such a massive, living machine.


Very few people ever worked in both sciences, as they tended to work toward different goals along the way, despite the end result being the same.


Our twins had started to work on a new program that would allow Nanites to work as a team in harmony, better then they currently were. Along the way, they had also created a different way of programming.  They actually used the newly created HoloTechnology to literally enter a program and work on it from the inside out.  Few others used the HoloTech as they did, which made their programs far more advanced than any other on the market.


After working on the code normally, they would then go into the code and watch how it worked to try and solve any problems in the code.  They always left a trail to get out.  After working on the code for several months, they set up the holo-cam to start working from the inside out.


Heading inside the code, they found themselves in a forest of the ones and zeros that filled their little world.  Triggering the holo-computer to start the trail, they worked their way deeper into the program.  Time moves differently in the holo-world, and neither was actually sure how long they walked along, before the house came into view.  It wasn't like anything they'd seen before in a program, and both were very sure it was actually a virus of some sort.  As they got closer to it, the whole program started to skip and ump, causing them to wonder on how to back out, but not finding the trail.


"I guess we're stuck going in."  Diggory told his sister, as they stopped before the house.


Perdita leaned in and frowned at the house, "It's... It's made of... Candy." She said, frowning as she looked back at her brother.  "A house of candy?  We've seen virus' in programs before, but never like this."


"Makes me think of Alice in Wonderland..." He commented, running his hand along the candy cane pillar.  "I keep waiting for a big... Eat Me sign to appear."


"Yeah... Let's look inside, maybe something will show us how to destroy this thing..."


"Never should have let the others share our lab... You know those NanoTech people want us to fail."


Taking her bothers hand, Perdita shook her head.  "You know better than to think like that.  They have helped us keep the costs down, by sharing our lab, it's barely costing us half the rent."


Something that sounded almost like a mechanical laugh erupted behind them.  Something dropped and the two blinked at the licorice bars of a cage.


"See how you enjoy this, NeoTech.  We'll let you out when we show up in the morning... NANOTECH!!!"


Diggory looked back at his sister, "They don't understand Holo's, do they?"

Flash Fiction: Start Living Again

This is a blurb I wrote about an OC of mine, Ezio.  There's more infos on him at my dA, 

Chloe had told him it might help, and while Ezio really wasn't all that sure... He headed into the store anyway.  Looking around, a flood of memories started to wash over him as he thought of those two little blond girls that had ruled his heart for so long.  A smile came to his lips as he moved through the store and noticed all the things they had loved and enjoyed.  Both had managed to be fairly girly, if in slightly different ways. 

Maria... She had loved not just fashion, Barbie’s and the like, but had adored coloring and creating.  At 18, she'd still had the Barbie’s, but used them to sew her own miniature designs and style them.  He'd been helping her with sketching out clothes and her own fashions.  She'd actually dreamed of becoming a fashion designer.  Standing in the middle of the Barbie aisle, he picked up an outfit she would have loved.

At the end of the aisle, the young man stopped and stared as something caught his eye and he moved toward it.  Mariah on the other hand... Her wave of creativeness had from nature and all things flowers.  While still managing to be insanely girly, she'd simply loved to be out in the garden, planting and growing.  Then, after they'd blossomed, at 16, she would carefully prune them and make some amazing flower arrangements.  Arrangements that he could still at times, see in his mind’s eye.  Ezio picked up the children’s 'flower' kit and smiled at it.

Starting back toward the front, the black haired man stopped once to pick up a gift bag and tissue paper, before paying for it.

Little over an hour later, he smiled as the bag was handed over to a worker for the Christmas Wish group.  Somehow, it had actually been helpful.  "Should have known better then to doubt Chloe."  He mumbled to himself, before heading out into the cold Chicago weather and slipping on his bike, ready to start home.

Maybe, it was time to really figure out how to start living in the present.

5 Random Questions... +1

Lori M. Lee offered to ask some questions of those who replied to her blog. ^^ Here's mine.
1. Was there ever a time when you were frightened for your life? 
3 times. One is slightly personal, and it wasn't so much death.. As just the future I was scared of. The other two times, were car accidents. One, was when my breaks went out in Down Town and I ran into a building. For a few seconds, I was... Not so much frightened, as prepared to die. The other time I was smashed into by a car. We were both somewhat to blame, but it scared me as he nearly smashed into.. Well, me.
2. Name one thing that not many people know about you? 
I have... Odd, but semi genuine worries about my sanity. Mostly, I'm scared that everything in my head, my imagination and creativeness, will someday overwhelm me and I'll lose the ability to release it.
3. Mortal combat between Prince Eric (the little mermaid) and Prince Philip (sleeping beauty). Who would win? 
Prince Philip, hands down. For a few reasons. One... Sleeping Beauty beats out Little Mermaid, any day. 2, he's cuter. 3, I think his battle was more epic. 4..... Cause I say so.
4. Which apocalypse would you rather face: a natural one (the forces of nature rip apart the world), a nuclear one (world war 3), or a zombie one? 
I'd rather face Nature. Offers the most chance of survival I think.
5. Can you fake accents?
Nope. I can enjoy them... And I can pickup pieces of how others sound, but it always sounds like... Me.


I stole the next one. I just... If you know me, you'll understand.
3. Spiderman and Batman get drunk together and wind up in bed. Who made the first move? 
I think it would have been a whole bunch of.. Small, subtle moves on each side.  Then, as the drinking ensued... I see Superman leaning in for that first kiss, but Batman taking the lead in moving it into more.

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.  ^^  I think... I'm going to ask the same of any viewers out there.  
Reply with a comment, including the word Randomocity, and I'll ask you 5 questions to post in your own blog.  Don't forget to post your journals to my comments, so I can check them out.

Kristy

Why I Write....

So.. Hildred over at Musings of a Procrastinating Author, asked this question... And after like, a week of planning on answering, I finally sat down to write out the answer... Of course, being me, its written on the fly and with no planning or direction.

Why I write....

To offer my mind an escape. A lot of crap has happened in... Well, in the last 7 years, but since February, life hasn't been even close to easy. Even when I write for school and its a paper I could care less about and am only working to get to that.. 1000 words or 3-4 pages in length, I still use it to escape.

To let my brain calm down. I know this sounds like the first, but its actually not. I have a highly active brain at times, imagination likes to run on high. And I firmly, without having researched or gathered any proof, believe that creativity and insanity can be one in the same, and writing is one way I... Release everything that's gathered up in my head and let it loose. A, release of pressure, if you will.

Its a dream. I've always wanted to have a book published, and I know despite it all.. I do in fact have the talent to get a book out there and enjoyed by... People.

To fulfill a promise... This isn't exactly the reason... But, I know my mom believed I had at least one book in me and I'd like to see that happen.

The imago incident

^^  Another challenge here from Rachel's Platform Building Campaign.

Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:

• include the word "imago" in the title

• include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity,"

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.

For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!

I think I was able to hit everything, and use the words properly.  Hope you enjoy.


"There's a what?"


"A lacuna... And you call yourself a writer..."


I glared at him, "What are you talking about?"


Watching him roll his eyes, he continued, "Lacuna... Your book has a gap.. Huge, gaping hole in the storyline.  You had that great and amazing miasma... Then the the story just... Oscitated open and everything fell into this hole."


Sitting down, I rested my head in my hands.  He had to be doing this on purpose, just to get at me.  Yes, he's a friend and yes, he has the connections needed to help in getting my manuscript into the right publisher... But he was also arrogant and enjoyed showing off to people.  Based on the words, I could easily guess that 'Oscaitate', meant some kind of hole. Miasma could only be talking about the huge foreboding my main character had had about the assassination.


"It wasn't a hole, it was synchronicity.  Did you like, stop reading it there?  Did you miss the mirror image scene where everything changed?"


It was hard to hide the smile.  He hadn't finished the story and really hadn't been prepared for me to use that word on him.  I had finally managed a victory.




This isn't from anything and is pretty much, just a random blurb... It's what came to mind.


I'm number 63 on the Linky List.

Future

I have a future.  What happens, is a very good question.  There are a few known things to me.


1. Next Fall, I will graduate from college with a degree in Business.
2. January 2013, my father is taking a 2 month trip down to Argentina.


Well, that's it.  Everything is, I have no clue on.


Will I still have a business?  What will it's focus be?  Jewelry? Paper Crafts? Photography? Sewn or Knit pieces?  Hell, Hand Spun yarn?


Who knows.  I like to craft and I tend to pick up things and then move on.


But, I want to change.  I want to keep at it and I want to make it work.  I'm 29 for fucks sake, almost 30... And how many things have I started and seen through to the end?


You most likely don't know the answer to that, but I do.


Very few.  If it takes more then about 4 months, I get bored and move on.  Half started things fill my world.  
Incomplete... Should be my tag line


Ideas... I have plenty of those.  Tons.  But, they seldom make it very far out of the idea stage... Too often, they never make it out of my head.


Stories I've no idea where to go next with, but love an adore.


Jewelry I want to make, but can't seem to get into the mood to make.


Idea's galore... Idea's, that go no where in the long run.




Excuse the ranting, just had a 'chat' with my father that has me feeling worthless a little... No, not worthless.. Just...


Incomplete.

200 Word Challenge

I decided, while I kinda doubt this'll be updated all that often. ANYWHO!!

As you know, I'm participating in the Third Writers' Platform-Building Campaign. Our first of 3 challenges is:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!

Well, being me.. I really wanted to do all three, as so many others that I've checked out from my group(s) cohorts. And so... Here it is, something kinda personal...
The door swung open and the desk lay bare. It gave off a feeling of being dormant, lifeless. This room had once held so much promise and joy... Now, it held nothing but lost dreams.

I moved toward that desk, the one I'd leaned over for years and tried to remember that exhilaration I used to when I'd write. The love of the characters and the story, but it was gone... Dead, like so many of my dreams. 

A small smile crosses my lips as I think of all the agony I'd once put into the simple act of writing. Foolishness... Man wasn't meant to dream. Dreams are just fantasy's. Reality is so very different. You can't control the pain of life, not real pain. You can't solve the problems it offers. 

I look again at the desk and see it's not as empty as I'd once thought. A lone piece of paper lays there, covered in dust. A few simple words reflect in my eyes. 

'Remember, To Lose Your Dreams, Is To Lose Yourself.' 

Somehow, despite it all... My mind springs to life and I sit down, digging for something to write on... 

Behind me, the door swung shut. 

And there you have it. Starts and Ends how the challenge asked and then hit it at EXACTLY 200 words.

^^ Now, off to post it to the challenge Linky. WHEEE!!!!!!