Feeling Accomplished

So, this weekend I got to feel all professional and like I've arrived somehow.  While vending at a con, I was put onto three writing panels.  [Character Development, Female Creators and Tips for Aspiring Writers]

Not only was it interesting to be on the other side of the table, but it was a bit of a shock to have someone come up after and ask for advice... And others still find me at my booth and chat with me.

Somehow, it feels like in the last year something broke inside me and I've been able to grow more than I'd thought I could.

Looking back over the years, I know where a lot of it started and also when everything started to crumble.  But even knowing these things, having those moments where you see the growth in yourself... Its strange and wonderful at the same time.

As I've said in the past, last year my car with all of my jewelry [ok, minus about 20-30 pieces, but still.], my display... Pretty much everything was stolen.  I got the car back, but not much else.  It left me heartbroken and thinking I should have just given up.

But my friends encouraged me and I stuck with it.  I reimagined my display and my presentation of the jewelry.  I started, and have kept, an inventory with accurate pricing.  My photos are more professional and I'm striving to keep my etsy story up to date.

And ya know what?

In less than a year, I was back on my feet and moving forward.  My stock is at the same place it was before the theft, my etsy stores up and mostly running... And I've taken several big jumps at trying to make it in the world.

So whatever happened to me, it all started with the theft and all that thing forced me to do.

Nothing could make me trade the jewelry for this change in myself and everything, but at the same time... Not sure I'd give up the results.

Kristy C

Valentines Candy or Boxing Gloves...

So, there's this song from a really good movie called The Happiest Millionaire called Valentines Candy.  The young star of the movie, Cordelia [or Codry as she goes by] has just lost a date with a handsome young man, because her brothers were 'teaching' him how to keep up his guard should she punch him, and instead knocked him out.  So, he left.  Now, our young woman is faced with a problem.  Is she Valentines Candy or Boxing Gloves.

Now, I know all well and good that this story takes place in the early 1900's, and the time it shows means she should be in one world, but isn't.  But I can't help and make comments of 'yes.' whenever she asks if she's meant to be one or the other, because I've felt faced with that same issue for a years.

Even in this modern time, it feels as if you're supposed to fit into one of a few molds.  Girly girl or Tomboy.  You're not supposed to dress up for a tea party, then go play a d20 game after.  Making jewelry while watching Iron Man is a no-no.

A few years ago I was picking up some things at the dollar store and the lady behind me had two little girls with her.  One had a pretty princess jewelry pack, the other a plastic war axe.  I grinned and commented that I wanted both.  I mean, who says you can't have pretty jewelry on while you slay the dragon?  Sure a skirt might make movement a bit hard, but the right type could still be modest AND lovely.

But instead, we're still teaching our young people that you have to fit into some sort of mold.  You can't be diverse and eclectic.

My dad's got an amazing eye for color and enjoys watching decorating shows, design shows and the such with me.  He likes seeing what people can create.  He can't stand the drama, but the inventiveness and the chance to see what's out there intrigues him.  Its because of him that I'm a Klingon-Hobbit who loves listening to musicals, jazz, blues and understands what I do about music.  I think he's where I get my creative eye from.  Nothing against my mom mind you, but her gift was a love of research and dialogue with others, among the tea and other things.

So, when I hear this song it saddens me to think that young people are so stuffed into a box and a mold, when we're each so unique and different.

Below are the lyrics and a Spotify thingy for the song.  And I still recommend the movie to people, because despite those things its a cute film.

Kristy C

Oh, Miss Cordelia Drexel Biddle, I thought I knew you well!
But now, Miss Cordelia Drexel Biddle, I just can't tell.
Are you Valentine candy, or boxing gloves?
Lately you seem very strange... What in the world's coming over you?
Everything's starting to change.
Are you sonnets by Shelley, or rover boys? Once, any answer would do...
Why are you suddenly wondering, which kind of someone are you? I
s a boy meant to spar with, or gaze at a star with?
Should you kiss him, or blacken his eye?
Now if he buys you roses, a right to the nose is really not quite the proper reply...
You're so lost in the middle of in-between.
Is your destiny canvas, or crêpe de Chine?
Will you someday be someone that somebody loves?
Are you Valentine candy... or boxing gloves?

August is for Writing and Balance

I've struggled over the last year to get back into writing, as my jewelry business has become central in my life.  And its not that I dislike that, but writing is at the center of my heart.  Jewelry Design is special but not AS special.

At the end of July, I had listed over 200 items in my Etsy store, had close to 100 more made and not yet listed [due to fees] and was trying to save/raise money for a big trip at the end of September.  No shows or real plans for August at that point. I was out of a lot of supplies, so making things wasn't going to happen without funds and in general, the business would end up going on a sort of 'nap'.

I'd also received an email from the lovely Gabriela over at DIY MFA (Do It Yourself Master of Fine Arts) about an upcoming project/challenge they were doing called 'Conquer the Craft'.  For the first 29 days of August, you would receive a daily prompt meant to help challenge yourself in writing.  Most should only take about 29 minutes to do, but longer was ok.

The main goal was to push yourself AND get into the norm of writing.  I saw this as a godsend, since I wanted badly to write and just needed a push.

And there it was.

So I happily put aside the jewelry.  I had a few events at the start of September I could plan for, and figured I'd just deal with them when they happened.

But as we've passed the halfway point, I see that I was only half right.

I need to find balance in my muse.  Balance will help me to move on into the next few months, with 4 shows of various lengths, and keep my writing a thing.  A normal thing.

August is about balance.

Despite having no actual funds to buy supplies, I need to strive to build even pieces of jewelry or plot out designs, so when I can make that order I'm not floundering.  I need to work on my stories, even just background and time lines.

Instead of 30 min on my writing, I need 30 min on writing, 30 on the business, 30 on promotion and 30 here... TWO HOURS A DAY!!!

That's all my heart says I need to stress over.  Spend the other times cleaning, running errands, researching, do what needs to be done.

Grow past this broken place you've been in for too long.

August is about balance.

I'm not naive enough to know there won't be times when one overshadows the other.  Try as we might, total balance isn't in our control.  But I also know that I am tired of giving up halfway, tired of feeling trapped with one or the other and tired of barely getting by.

Tired of being only a WOULD BE Somebody.

Kristy C