Hectic Live

In my last post I alluded to life being a bit over whelming for me lately.  Let me explain why.

The 20th my dad texted me to come home, he needed me for something. When I got there, he said he was having some chest pains and wanted to go to the ER. He kept saying he thought it was heartburn, but the 'numbers', if you will, didn't add up.

Why? He described his left hand as feeling kinda numb and things like that. In the ER, they said that if he left, he would be doing so against doctors orders. Late the next day, he was moved to another hospital. Around the 24th, he was finally informed that he'd had a heart attack. It was bad enough that he'd have to stay in, but not so bad that he'd get emergency surgery.

On the 27th, he had triple bypass surgery.

Needless to say, I was a bundle of nerves during that whole time. Not to say I fell apart. Far from it. I managed to held up as best I could, when you consider that I was facing a possibility of losing my second parent, in less than five years.

June 1st, he came home. He's been weak and tires easily, but that's nothing new. They did cut him open in several places, stop his heart and stick tubes into him everywhere.

There have also been some money issues, and the WiFi at home is currently down. Being a WiFi addict, this is not good. I require daily does of it to survive. Thank god for Library's and Starbucks.

Anywho, that's where I'm at right now. Money is tight, but we're taking care of what we need over what we want. I try and get out of the house for a few hours every day, so I don't kill one of us. Even before the wifi went down.

We're surviving and doing the best we can right now. People out there have it worse than we do, and some have it better. For now, just doing what we can.

Kristy C

What happens...

When you get too stressed?  You can't sleep for two nights and end up at the ER getting EKG's, blood work and X-Ray's, because you're hearts racing at times and you're short of breath.

That happened last night.  I actually bumped the post for today to tomorrow to post this.

Turns out, when you say 'My hearts acting funny' they don't mess around.

Not that they shouldn't take it seriously, but I have no idea what caused the anxiety spike in me, just that it spiked and I freaked out after two days of very little sleep, being constantly tired and my heart racing on and off.

So, lesson learned... Although, what to do next I'm not sure.  A call to my doctor today is a big part of it all.  Figuring out how to help my stress levels, another part.  I don't want stress to break my body any more than it already has.

Kristy C

Drama Rama

In my day to day life, I try my hardest to avoid getting in the middle of drama and to avoid drama queens.  Its impossible to always avoid them, but I do try.

Lately however, there's been some drama in a local community I'm a member of and its kinda annoying. As is typical, I've got friends on both sides of the line, and I think there's more than just two of them out there.

What I think bothers me the most, is that a few weeks ago when everything came to a head, one of those people seemed rather understanding and not that upset.

Now, a little over a month later, they're bitchy and very upset over everything and to the point of ignoring evidence that others aren't avoiding things, but have other plans.  Just because amends have been made, doesn't mean that it'll all be fixed with an 'I'm sorry and things are changing.'

It takes time to heal the wounds that have festered for some time now.  During the time of pain, people often pull away to wait things out.  Some of us are watching through the changes, others are going to watch from the sidelines.  Both are valid standpoints, but you have to just keep plodding along as best you can on either side.

What's hard, is that none of this takes into account that sometimes people make other plants and there's nothing you can do about it.  Anniversaries, vacations, class schedules, work... All of those things can cause you to not go for a few weeks.  For heavens sake, I've missed quite a few shows in Sept, due to other events.  No one complained about me [I don't think].  Is it just because I told them I'd be gone?

Sometimes, things happen and we all just have to realize that.  Its not easy to do, but we have too.

Kristy C